I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
