Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
God, I missed his penis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
