i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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