I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
