I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
