I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
