you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
