Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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