i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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