I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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