doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
