If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
