i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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