"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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