Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have feelings that need drinking.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize