Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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