Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
