Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
