Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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