so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
