My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
