going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
