And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
