guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
