goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
