I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
