I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
