Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize