i wish semen tasted like chocolate
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
