I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize