we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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