wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
