Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
