Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
