i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
