escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
