did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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