You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm really busy with my period
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