she smelled like a LAN party
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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