The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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