Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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