Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
