If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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