Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
