im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
