My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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