Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
