I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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