Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
