He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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