You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
handjob tips. give me some.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
