who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
