Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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