I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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