then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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