dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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