I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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