no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
