i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
