two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
