All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You're like the curious george of whores
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
