How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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