And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
