they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
