But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
