Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
